8. The Age-Old Whim of Old-Age

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“What is wrong with you? Spiritual pursuit should be undertaken when you are retired and have no other thing to do. Then you can sit and contemplate or sing Bhajans or read Puranas, not now” – this is what adults in a house would say if a young boy seriously starts reading Bhagavadgita at home. Practice spirituality when there is no other thing to do? That means everything else is better than spirituality?

Similarly, if a young man, who has no problems in life whatsoever, decides to accept Sanyasa, then the society questions “Why is he taking Sanyasa? He has everything in life. Money, education etc. And for his status he will get a very nice girl as well. Then why is he leaving?”. What does this mean? Sanyasi is a lazy and ‘good for nothing’ person? Only losers become monks?

This indicates the prevalent importance of spirituality and spiritual aspirants in India, the once backbone of this great country. And the repercussions are quite apparent. How dummy has our religion become without spiritual essence? Only dry rituals out of sheer fear but no worship out of adoration. Only selfish prayers out of weakness but no dialogue out of innocent devotion. Only demands out of greed but no offerings out of love. And only apparent offerings tainted with conditional desires. Nobody to say “Oh Lord, let thy will be done, I shall accept whatever it is” but all only to say “God, do this, do that, I will give you 5000 bucks”.

And all this as the result of the notion that only old people should practice spirituality. The youngsters are busy practicing their own version of spirituality – purchasing God with money.

Is practice possible at old age? If yes, how effectively? Let alone the mystic yogic techniques, can we even practice simple mind control at old age? For e.g. I have to overcome my addiction of excessive talking. And to do that I have to continuously fight against it. I lose several times to the compulsion of the mind, but finally I start gaining control (as explained in ‘The Big Boost’). But in the process, over the months, I might have effectively had hours of junk talks with many around me. Is this kind of battle affordable in old age? I have health problems, I cannot speak clearly. Even if I speak, who wants to listen to an old man bragging? So, Battlefield (healthy body and opportunities) itself is not available. Then where is the question of battle? But the mind is going on shooting missiles at me. What can I do except forcefully suppressing my urge to talk? And there will be hundreds of suppressions like this, many of them being much worse than the innocent ‘talking’. So as a result, what can I become except for a grumpy old man? Do you think I will die peacefully with tons of desires burning within me? And we say spirituality is for old age?

Supporting this point, I noticed one fact in the Upanishads and other scriptures. Almost all of the Self-Realized characters mentioned in the scriptures are young! Prahlada, Dhruva, Markandeya, Nachiketa, Bhrugu, Shuka... list goes on. All young! Some even in childhood! Whether the scriptures are real stories or not, what message is being conveyed? And we say spirituality is for old age? So, what do we get to read in our old age? Scriptures that say that self-realization is possible most likely at young age? And we still say spirituality is for old age? Have we lost common sense?! Also, what do we see in the recent times? Jnanadeva, Namadeva, Kanakadasa, Purandaradasa, Tukaram, Chaitanya, Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, Vivekananda, Ramana Maharshi - how many examples do we need? All spiritual aspirants who either began the quest in young age or attained realization in young age.

On the other hand, what a remarkable inspiration this is for youngsters aspiring for Self-Realization! Each youngster yearning for it can boldly say to himself - "I have this strong pull within me which I cannot deny, and I am doing nothing wrong by following it. It is a thing to be proud of. It is a thing to celebrate, not to get worried or depressed.". But I can say this only if I know that my longing is genuine and not for a material purpose! You know, commercial spiritual business of modern times!

A young and healthy body is meant for rapid spiritual growth. Powerful sense organs are available not for me to become its slave, but to rule over them and feel like an unbeatable emperor. If India wins over Holland in a cricket match, nobody bothers. But how much of delight do we take for a victory over the mighty Australians? The more powerful the opponent the more delight we take in defeating them. And this adventurous victory over the mind can be felt only at young age with potent sense organs. They can provide the necessary battle field for the intense battle between me and my mind. But today, healthy and fit body itself has become the goal. As Swami Vivekananda puts it – An animal has tremendous fitness, it doesn't fall sick. Do we want to become like that? Is that our ultimate goal at young age? Become a healthy animal?

So, let me not just keep the battle field (body) neat and fit only for my enemy (compulsions of the mind) to perform rampage. Let me face it and fight! Whether Mahabharata war really took place or not, but it will certainly take place within me i.e. if I am an aspirant of Self-Realization.

As noted in several previous posts, we often do not clearly differentiate between ‘can’t do’ and ‘don’t wish to do’. Former is out of compulsion and the latter is out of freedom. And if it is freedom, I should first have the ability to do both alternatives. I should test myself or know for sure that I really have the ability to go both ways, only then can I say “I choose first alternative out of my free will”. Otherwise, in reality I may not have the ability to perform the first alternative, and I say I choose the second out of free will. I generously cheat myself.

We saw in the ‘The Strong Weakness’ that at young age, I say I enjoy sense pleasures out of free will. This is bogus free will. In reality I am miserably compelled by the mind. I cannot be otherwise, and that’s why I run after sense pleasures. I am under the compulsion of healthy body. There is no freedom of any sort. If it is real freedom then I should have the ability to do both ways – whether my favorite item is there or not, I should be happy both ways. But is it happening? Or am I pathetically obeying the orders of the senses? In the name of ruling the country (body) I loot it. Finally only to cause an imbalance and end up with some disorders.

Similarly, in my old age I say the opposite. I say I am not running after sense pleasures out of free will. Again trying to conceal ‘can’t do’ with ‘don’t wish to do’. My body has withered, diseases have crept in and I certainly cannot satiate my senses. I am again under compulsion, but now of the old body. And I say “I don’t wish any sense pleasures”! Only I will really know how much of fire is burning in my mind. Not that all sense attachments will compulsorily be alive, some may have really died. But certainly not all of them.

At young age I gave free vent in the name of free will, and at old age I have to suppress in the name of free will. I could have mastered them only when I was young, I could have tasted real freedom only in my young body, not now. Now, I can only repent and become grumpy. There is meaning only in ruling a rich and healthy country, not a dead and god forsaken land! There is nothing to rule there. I can just sit over it and shout all I want that I am the emperor, whereas in reality I am helplessly stuck in the desert!

I either loot the country when it is healthy OR call myself a just ruler of the barren land!

Innocent Child - "Grandfather, will you marry again?"
The (supposedly) wise old man - "Hmm (sigh)... Who will marry me now?"!

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