17. सर्वं ज्ञानप्लवेनैव...

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“Aham Brahmasmi" - "I am Brahman". Ah, all junk philosophy. If it is true, then why do I not feel that I am Brahman? You say I am an ocean, then why do I feel like a miserable wave?

In computer programming, assignment of variables is a very tricky thing. Consider the following:

int i, G

i = 1

G = 1000

Now, if I write i = G, the value of G will come to i and both will become 1000. Whereas, if I write G = i, the values of i will be assigned to G and both will become 1. So, both are equations of the same variables, but mean opposite things.

Whenever we say “Aham Brahmasmi”, our assignment of variable is always wrong: G = i. We want to hold onto the miserable body and want that to become eternal and permanent. We want to hold onto the individuality, and want that to become the infinite. We do not want to remove our false notion (of individuality) and find the reality. Instead, we want to retain the false notion (individuality) and make that itself as reality. We do not want to diffuse 1 into 1000, but want to fit 1000 into 1. We do not want to diffuse our ego into God, but we want to fit God into our ego to become a superhero. And with this opposite assignment of variables, I want to get Self-Realized. How can it ever happen? And hence the wave cries “Boo hoo, where are you ocean? Ocean-realization is so difficult”. Is this misery really a misery? Does this deserve any sympathy?

As a modern example, I am going to take help from the movie ‘Matrix Revolutions’. There is this war that happens between the humans and the machines. If you observe the machines properly, you may note one interesting point - Apparently there are millions of machines, BUT there is just ONE machine consciousness, the Machine Mainframe. As Morpheus says - “A singular consciousness that spawned an entire race of machines”. There is only one ‘I’ on the machine side - one that orders and obeys, leads and follows - The one that is everything and everywhere.

Probably there is no other better modern example to explain Advaita. One consciousness, but many in appearance. Now let us go a step further and imagine something that actually did not happen in the movie. Let us say that one of the individual machines (sentinels) begins to think that it is a separate entity. It believes that it is now making choices and taking decisions on its own. Because of that, this machine automatically bring itself down from the widespread existence (of millions of sentinels) to a very limited existence of one sentinel. The machine says “I am this body” (showing its small robot body) and thinks that it is no more connected to any other machine or the mainframe. But the fact is that the mainframe is all the time having control over it. The puny individual machine resists, it wants to have free will and freedom. But even the resistance is actually being prompted by the same mainframe! All is under the control of the same consciousness.

Oh, so I will lose my free will when I get Self-Realization? I get scared on losing individuality. But who says that I, as the body, have free will now? I only think that I have! I am like that sentinel machine which is all the time being prompted and controlled by the mainframe. Hmm, this is so disheartening. That means I am just a puppet. NO! Again I am desperately holding onto the body and making this statement. Change the assignment of the variables! Look from the other side. I am not a puppet, I am running the whole show. I am actually the mainframe itself. There are no many ‘I’s. There is only one mainframe. And that is the real ‘I’.

If we accept the existence of an entity called God, then automatically we have to give up the idea of free will. Because, if I, as the individual body, have a free will, then that means that the God does not know what I am going to do next. A confused God? So free will of the individual ego is immediately ruled out. But there is one ultimate free will. 'I' am actually running the whole show, the whole dream. In the dream I cry that I have free will as a body, whereas the truth is that the whole dream is under my control.

I have to only wake up from the dream and understand that I was the entire dream. I was the director, the producer, the hero, the co-actor and the villain. I was the transactions in the dream, I was the contents of the dream, I was the objects of the dream. The whole dream is within me. I am not within the dream. That was only a stupid notion. I assigned a body to myself within the dream and said "I am this body alone". And because of that I think I suffer in the dream. The dream illustration would require a separate post, because it will go quite deep into the rabbit hole.

The sentinel machine, now to get rid of its misery, only has to constantly search for the source signals which is controlling its tiny body. And that is Self-Enquiry. Searching for the source of the feeling of 'I'. And when the machine finds its true source to be the mainframe, and not the tiny body, the dream is over for it. The individuality is no more.

Ramana Maharshi’s answers to the questions filled with weakness helps any spiritual aspirant drive away his whining tendency and excuse-finding nature. There are several excuses, wrong notions and weaknesses that a spiritual aspirant displays very frequently. Ramana’s way of giving answers have been given below, with little modifications and aggression added. This is only a trailer, you can always enjoy the full feast by buying his books which are filled with hundreds of such conversations.

Excuse 1

Q: Shankaracharya talks of Advaita. Whereas Ramanujacharya speaks of Vishishtadvaita. What to believe and follow?

A: Ohho! Poor fellow. So you are not progressing because of the confusions created by others. Anyway, in all the philosophies, Jivatma and Paramatma are both accepted. Then first find your own Jivatma. Then you will have plenty of time to decide whether to follow Advaita, Dvaita or Vishishtadvaita.

Excuse 2

Q: There is so much misery in the world. Instead of helping the society, should I spend time in Self-Enquiry? Is that not selfish?

A: First help yourself and solve your own misery. Secondly, without knowing what is Self-Realization, how do you decide that it will not help the world? You are saying it is selfish, but at the same time you have no idea what it is. When you wake up from the dream which was filled with misery around, is there any misery left? Who were those people in misery in your dream? Were they different from you?

Weakness 1

Q: Self Realization is very difficult.

A: Who is it that is saying this? Is it a different Self that is making this statement? Are there two Selfs?

Q: But I do not feel my Self.

A: Oh, so you are talking without feeling that you exist? You are not aware of your Self now?

Q: I feel my Self, but I do not feel any bliss, as the scriptures proclaim.

A: That is because you have not gone to the source from where ‘I’ springs. After it springs you are immediately associating that with something transient – ego – which is a wave on the ocean. But it is actually the ocean that is the source of your awareness. Wave is just an infinitesimal shape on it.

Q: How to go to the source?

A: You are already the source. You have to just remember it. With intense curiosity, search the source of ‘I’ in you and your ego will be pulled and diffused into it one day.

Weakness 2

Q: Mind is very difficult to control.

A: Whose mind?

Q: My mind.

A: What do you mean by ‘me’?

Q: …

A: You yourself say that it is ‘my mind’. Then try to answer this question – What do you mean by ‘I’? Search for it and all will be answered.

Weakness 3

Q: How much ever you say, Self-Realization is very rare. It happens for one in a million people.

A: Again the statement is being made from body consciousness. You are counting the bodies of the saints. This counting itself is the weakness. If there is only one mainframe, one Self, how many times does the Self has to get realized. Is there any count?

Weakness 4

Q: I am such a horrible person. I have committed so many sins and mistakes. I can never think of Self-Realization.

Suddenly, form nowhere Krishna comes running into the scene (Funny guy, I know)…

Krishna: Wait, wait, I will answer that…

अपि चेदसि पापेभ्यः सर्वेभ्यः पापकृत्तमः ।

सर्वं ज्ञानप्लवेनैव वृजिनं सन्तरिष्यसि ॥४.३६॥

Greatest sinner of all? No worries Sir! You can take a joy ride on the boat of Jnana (knowledge) and cross them all (And I will be your boatman and guide you. I am running out of business, I am in need of some passengers, you see).

Q: What if I fall out from your boat in between?
Krishna: Aggghh... Can't you even sit still? Do I have to do everything for you? Should I even sit for you? Anyway, nobody has fallen till date.

Once I wake up, does it matter how many sins I committed within the dream?! Does good or bad of the dream carry any meaning? Who set the rules of good and bad? (refer 'The Amazing Conversation')

The blazing fire of knowledge will burn everything into ashes (Gita 4.37)

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