10. The Amazing Conversation

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So, now I got Krishna back, I got common sense back with me, to be by my side always, to guide me, to tell me if I am going in the correct direction. And then I began asking him plenty of questions, which he answered so elegantly.

Ego – “What is this Maya? I never understand this, looks like mumbo-jumbo”

Krishna – “Have you watched a football match?”

Ego – “Yes, a few times”

Krishna – “Who created the concept of the football game?”

Ego – “Us, the people”

Krishna – “Good, who decided the rules of the game?”

Ego – “Us, the people”

Krishna – “Who manufactured the football? Who built the stadium?”

Ego – “Us, the people”

Krishna – “The players who are playing the game, do they know all this?”

Ego – “Of course, they know”

Krishna – “They know that it is a game created by the people themselves. So they know for sure that it is not enforced by a supreme God. They know and have agreed to all the rules.”

Ego – “Yes, they know”

Krishna – “Hmm, then why is it that a player gets angry when the opponent tackles the football away from him?”

Ego – “Because he doesn’t want to lose”

Krishna – “So, will he be happy if all the opponents stand aside and let him hit the goal peacefully?”

Ego – “No, he wants fight from the opponent”

Krishna – “Ok now you are talking funny. He wants a fight. He wants the opponent to try to tackle the football. But every time he wants that the opponent should fail? If the opponent fails every time, will it look like an interesting game? Won’t the very purpose of creating the game get defeated?”

I began sensing the strangeness of reality.

Krishna – “So you get angry in a game created from your pure imagination, governed by your own rules and being played as per your own rules?”

Ego – “Ya… This is weird!”

Krishna – “Now you tell me, is the game real or unreal? Does the game have its independent existence? Or it exists only because you play”

Ego – “It exists because I play, else it is just a concept”

Krishna – “This is Maya. You know that it exists only because of you. But then you forget the reality and begin to think that the game governs you, you begin to feel miserable. You begin to get emotional, upset about it. You are always the master, you are always the owner of the game. You are always beyond victory or defeat. But you forget this simple fact and cry when you lose and jump in joy when you win. Do any of these things have meaning seen from a neutral standpoint? Did winning and losing have any meaning before the game was invented? Did any God create winning and losing? No, you yourself created it with the game. If you yourself created both of them, why love one and hate the other? Why begging to some unknown God for victory? What did the poor God do? Did he force you to create the game and play it? And if you are so afraid of losing, why did you create the game at all? Why did you play the game at all? You could have just been without any sport, without any game. You created and played only for one reason – fun. Then why are you miserable when you lose?”

Ego – “Oh yes, winning and losing don’t have any meaning. Both are just for fun.”

Krishna – “Suppose you start winning every time. No opponent is able to tackle the ball away from you. Every time you succeed. Won’t this begin to get boring to you, to the opponents, and to the spectators? Who would want such a game? Even you will get depressed and stop playing. The very purpose of creating the game is to have fun. The very purpose is the sense of thrill and suspense with the uncertainty in the result - Karmaphala. So, from nowhere you created the game. Even after knowing all this, you can’t withstand losing?”

Ego – “So, I am bound in my own web. Or rather, I think that I am caught, whereas I am always the master! Winning or losing both are equal! I should enjoy both!”

Krishna – “This is all I said in the Gita. Always remember this simple fact that you are the master. Go beyond dualities. Then you will always be balanced and tranquil. If Karmaphala, result, was in your hands it will be a meaningless game, a meaningless world. So, that is why you should only play to enjoy and forget about the result. Both results, victory or defeat, are to be accepted as your own children with equal love. The example of football game should be applied to everything in your life. Why do you want to guarantee success in everything that you do? If everybody succeeds in everything they do, the game loses its meaning.”

Ego – “But I didn’t create the game of the world. I didn’t set the rules of the world.”

Krishna – “Who gave value to Gold? Who accepted the validity of currency notes? Who set the value of each item in the market? Did God do all this? It is the same as the football game, no difference.”

Ego – “But the body? I didn’t create the body. If it gets hurt I feel the pain. If it gets comfort I feel the pleasure. So, here I will obviously love pleasure and hate pain. How to reconcile this into your explanation?”

Krishna – “When playing football, you yourself called yourself as a football player. You superimposed something on ‘I’ for the sake of fun. But then, when the football player lost, you felt the pain of it. Whatever happened to the superimposed role, you took ownership of it. Similarly, now you are superimposing a lump of mass on ‘I’ and call it your body. You clearly said that ‘I’ feel the pain when body gets hurt. So you yourself accept that you are not the body. You feel the pain because of this virtual superimposition.”

Ego – “But why should I feel the pain?”

Krishna – “Attachment – the feeling of ‘mine’. While dreaming, you feel the pain when your dream-body gets hurt. But, do you feel even a speck of it when another person in the dream gets hurt? Isn't everything in the dream a part of your own mind? Are they all not you? Then why don't you feel pain when another person in your dream gets hurt? Because although the whole dream is you, you are calling only a small part of the dream, a body, as you, and think that everything else is not you. So, you feel the pain/pleasure of only one body, which you call 'my body'. Same happens in both wakeful and dream states. You are plain Awareness. But since you identify yourself with something specific, you begin to say that that specific thing alone is you. You begin to say that your real identity is only a football player! In deep sleep, you dissolve the entire dream into you and be tranquil - no good, no bad, but only peace and serenity. A perfectly neutralized state called bliss. This is equivalent to being the whole dream and feeling the pain/pleasure of everyone in it. When all are felt together, obviously they get perfectly neutralized. But in deep sleep, it happens involuntarily, so you are not aware as you are aware now. If it is reached by 'What Am I' enquiry voluntarily with awareness, then there is nothing more to be achieved. You become the whole existence, or rather you realize that you are the whole of existence."

Ego – “Understanding a little. But not fully clear.”

Krishna – “Whether you understand or not, you are infinite awareness. It is only a matter of time that you realize that. Now you just listened to me, that is only the first step. Everything cannot be known by just listening or arguing. This is a simple fact that is to be realized, not understood in a debate. Now you have to repeatedly enquire within yourself. Slowly it will become evident. But after sometime you will lose that intensity of enquiry. Then again you have to read the Gita or some other scripture to remind yourself of it. Shravana (listening) has to be done several times before the idea becomes strong enough in you to sustain itself. Then it is just your contemplation that will one day reveal the truth to you. It is inevitable.”