43. I Die and My Soul Leaves My Body!

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This statement should perhaps get a Nobel prize for dumbness. It can be heard in many supposed-to-be-spiritual discussions. I die, I am ended. But somehow 'mine' still remains! It is still my soul that leaves the body!

This statement demonstrates to what extent "taking for granted" can go. It is such a common statement made by all of us so many times in our lives, but never trying to understand what is it that we are uttering, never trying to stop and look if we are making any sense or not.

So, there are three entities - I, soul and the body. So, my soul is also not me, it is only mine. I die, but the soul is supposed to survive my death! Ah! Then what is it that died? Body? No, it is still there, lying like a piece of wood. Oh, I get it. How about, 'I Am'  = Body + Soul? Ok. Then that means 'I Am' awareness must come only after the soul and body come together. That means soul is also a dumb thing like the body. Soul doesn't know that it is. It does not have 'I Am' awareness. It is just a dumb piece of light, like how they show in the movies. Does that look satisfactory from any angle? No, no, the soul must have awareness, otherwise how can it be soul? It has to be the source of awareness.

So, are there two 'I's? My 'I' and my soul's 'I'? Am I two? No, I am only one. There are no two 'I Am's. Awareness is not a cake to have pieces. Then, it is not my soul. It is me. Then 'I die' is not at all valid. I continue to be.

Now, the word 'soul' has not explained anything. It is just a name. Another word for 'me'. Same is the case with the word 'Self'. It is just another word for 'me'. You will see this in advertisements "God is your inner Self. Find your inner Self"! How many selves am I made of? Am I like the ring roads of Bangalore city "Outer Ring road-Inner ring road"?

Do I need books to tell me details about 'Self'/'me'? Oh, so I have to read books to understand what I am? A dead book, which cannot read itself, which does not even know that it exists, will give me knowledge about my Self? Great. "Book may be dead, but it was written by living people". Hmm, so what did the first living person do? He must not have had any books to read. Books came first, or realization came first?

Then why should I read them? For reference. To glance now and then. To see the records of experiences of others and compare them with mine. "I don't have any experience". Then I have become a tape-recorder. May be someday I will get fed up with my rewind-replay business and I will realize that books cannot tell me what I am. That is why I have to read books. To finally come back to square one - ask 'Who Am I? Where Am I?' to myself. To hook myself onto "?". To Enquire.