<< Previous - Part 1 - The Self-Dementia
Now, what is the solution for
this dementia? What should the Sun do to know the truth? What should I do to
know the truth? Several paths are preached. But eventually all have to culminate
into one - Self-Enquiry, which is
emphasized with utter simplicity by Ramana Maharshi.
In my childhood, I used to see
my mother grinding rice using a heavy grinding stone using her own hands. In
one hand she would be rotating the stone and in another hand she would be skillfully
pushing the crushed rice paste again and again back into the center, because as
the stone crushes the batter, most of it gets squeezed out. If not pushed back
again, it will remain on the edges without being subject to further crushing.
This way rotating the stone alone will not produce the smooth batter, the repeated
act of pushing the squeezed-out portion is equally necessary. It has to be
skillfully done because a small error would make the hand itself get crushed.
Similarly, Self-Enquiry is
like the stone that crushes the wrong notions and wrong knowledge. But as we do
this, so many wrong notions escape our attention and squeeze themselves out
from the pressure spot. If unnoticed, they will remain happily stagnated on the
edges without being crushed. They have to be repeatedly pushed back to the
center so that they get crushed fully in the end. Contemplations subsidiary to the
main enquiry are equally necessary, and they have to be repeatedly carried out,
because notions do not change overnight. So, both the meanings of the word ‘grinding’
matches our purpose here 1) Crushing 2) Instill by persistent repetition. At
the same time it has to be done skillfully, i.e. with sharp logic and reasoning.
Else the contemplation may again lead to wrong notions and narrow-mindedness.
When I read Ramana, more than
the explanation of Self-Enquiry, I saw that he corrects so many of the deep
rooted wrong notions that we have about Self-Realization. And when they are
gone, or even weakened, enquiry should become spontaneous. It is these wrong
notions that block the most obvious question ‘Who Am I’ from springing up
within me. It is these wrong notions that has made me act like a sheep instead
of knowing that I am a Lion. This dementia is very strong. And hence,
contemplation also has to be intense, regular and continuous if at all the
dementia has to be eradicated. Along with the practice of actual Self-Enquiry,
which we will see in the next post, contemplation to crush all the associated
wrong notions greatly aids the enquiry. So we will see them first.
The biggest notion that has to
be pounded repeatedly is – “I will attain
something with Self-Realization”. I will not attain anything. I already am.
But I am assigning the existence of ‘I’ to a very limited part of the dream,
called a body. The Sun is assigning his existence to a very limited existence
of the planets. So, the only thing to be done is to find out what I mean by ‘I’.
This idea “I will not attain anything
with realization, there is nothing to be attained” has to be intensely
contemplated upon, with the reasoning that if something is attainable, then it
can be lost as well. Such a temporary state cannot become the final goal. So,
this cannot be something attainable. It should always be, here and now. But I
may be ignoring what I am, like the Sun.
Somewhat related to the above
is “I will become something after
Self-Realization”. I will not become anything. I am already what I am. In
fact it is now that I have virtually become
a limited something – the body. So, in the real sense realization is un-becoming,
un-becoming something limited. The original state always is, we cannot become what we already are. We only un-become
what we are not. And that too is virtual, self-imposed, like the Sun’s
self-imposed becoming.
“There will be light everywhere and I will hear OM Kara”. Hmm. This
one is quite funny. Do you have to see light for you to be yourself? Do you
have to hear OM Kara for you to be yourself? What do we want? Self-Realization
or Light-Realization? If I am seeing light, that means I am still separate from
light. Seer, seeing and seen still exist. How is this any better than seeing
sunlight or tube-light? The seer should be realized, not some light or sound.
All these are unnecessary attractions and distractions. So, let us not run
after some dumb light or sound. Always remember the goal – (your) Self, and not
any object ‘seen’ or ‘heard’ by the Self (you). If some light is indeed seen,
then the question has to be “How is it that I am seeing? What Am I?”
“Self-Realization is very difficult. Krishna himself told in the Gita”.
The same Krishna has told that it is ‘Susukham’, utterly easy, in the 9th
chapter. It is up to us which one we will hold on to. Negative mind only tries
to find excuses, and ignores the inspirations. A positive mind only looks for
boosts, and ignores negative statements. But in fact, Krishna never said
directly that it is difficult. He says “Out of many, only few will try, and out
of that few who try, again a very few will reach the goal”. Well, this is
normal. It is up to us to decide whether we will yield and be a drop-out or
persevere and be a winner. Moreover, you just look around you. How many are into
spirituality? A very small percentage of the world’s population, isn’t it? And
among the ones who are into spirituality, how many do you think are into
genuine spirituality and how many into hocus-pocus spirituality? That answers
your doubt! You are already among the very very few who are into genuine
spirituality without any unnecessary distractions. That means, statistically
speaking as per Krishna’s words, there is a very high scope for you and me! J
This one is a little subtle –
“I feel very calm. Mind becomes so quiet
and there are no thoughts”. Very good. But it is not over yet. Who is it
that is witnessing calmness? The object of perception has become very subtle –
blankness, silence. But the seer is still not realized. Instead the seer is
occupied looking at the blankness and silence. The truth is beyond sound and
silence. But since we cannot call it as sound, we attribute silence to it. The
truth is beyond light and darkness. But since we cannot call it as darkness, we
attribute light to it. The truth is beyond knowledge and ignorance. But since
we cannot call it as ignorance, we associate knowledge with it. The truth is
beyond freedom and bondage. But since we cannot call it as bondage, we
attribute freedom to it. But all the while, the truth is beyond all dualities. And
what is that truth? Something hidden in the skies? Absolutely not. It is the
closest to you, nearest to you, dearest to you. It is YOU, Awareness.
“Aham Brahmasmi – I will realize that I am omnipotent, omniscient and
omnipresent”. If we analyze carefully, all these words are meaningless. Because
first of all, is there really an ‘everywhere’? Dream explanation will help us
understand this better. In my sleep, I create the dream, and actually I am the
whole dream. So, I myself first create ‘everywhere’ and then I say ‘I am
everywhere, I am omnipresent’. Why all this circus? In fact the ‘everywhere’ is
within me. So, “I am everywhere” is the wrong way of saying it. Same is the
case with omniscient and omnipotent. The truth is simply is, it is neither here,
nor there. I simply am, neither here, nor there. Here-there are within me.
This way there are umpteen of
them which come in the later stages – “I
will become divine”, “I will become
immortal”, “I will become a great
spiritual saint, all will respect me”, “I
will get special powers” etc. But the funny part is in all of these the ‘I’
again means the body. So, the enquirer is back at square one! The enquiry has
stopped and the enquirer has again gone back to the notion ‘I am a body’,
thereby creating a sense of separation from the rest of the dream. What is the
use how great I become in my own dream? I may even become a superman flying
around, but still I am stuck in the dream. Flying in the dream is as useless as
walking in it. Prison is a prison, whether made of iron or diamonds.
The only thing to do is to relentlessly
push all these escaped notions back to the hotspot – the original enquiry – “I will
become great? Ok. Fine. But what is this I?”
Next post - The Self-Enquiry
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