51. Recognizing the Feminine

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We decide gender based only on biological features, which results in the superficial idea of man-woman. In contrast, there is much more to the idea of masculine and feminine. These are fundamental components of any living system, and everyone is a mixture of both feminine and masculine characteristics. In Chinese philosophy they are called as Yin and Yang respectively. Fritjof Capra, in his classic work 'The Turning Point', gives a beautiful account of this concept. Later I got to hear similar ideas from various other sources, and also realized a few points myself. And thus this post. The concept is vast; only an essence is presented. And some may find it contentious.

The characteristics of Yang are - assertive, competitive, demanding, analytical etc. Basically self-preservative - the inherent urge to preserve myself at various levels - physical, mental, ideological, social etc.

The characteristics of Yin are - adjusting, cooperating, accepting, intuitive etc. Basically self-expansive - the inherent urge to become something more than what I currently am, by surrendering to and identifying myself with a bigger picture (say, nation).

For a healthy growth of an individual/society a mixture of both is necessary. But the crisis today is that masculine qualities have become dominant dinosaurs and feminine qualities have become endangered species. I am not speaking in terms of men-women; I am speaking in terms of masculine-feminine. By saying masculine is dominant today, I mean that not only men have forgotten their feminine side, but even women are becoming increasingly masculine. Manly women! Due to the physical and psychological suppression of biological women over the centuries by biological men, biological women are trying to retaliate. They should retaliate. But instead of bringing feminine qualities to the forefront, the biological women are again promoting masculine qualities. So even if females rise, the feminine will anyway fall. This is a lose-lose situation.

The masculine is dominant because it is portrayed as success in today's society. But masculinity, the self-preservation part, has to do only with survival. Earn money, status, security etc. It ends there. It is only the initial necessary part, not the final fulfilling part. But we somehow seem to have missed that point. We are running a blind race only to survive. Even after we have well more than what we need to comfortably survive, we still run after money. Because we measure success with how much money one has. You know very well what "He is very successful" means by default. But measuring success with just how well you survive is very dumb. For instance, an individual with a 3-bedroom house is considered more successful than the one with a single room - we should be laughing at this really.

Success should in fact be decided by feminine qualities. It is that additional thing you do after you have managed to survive. How well are you in tune with the bigger picture? How fulfilled you feel with your life? What have you experienced beyond the basic physical world?

For instance, social service is feminine, an additional thing beyond your survival. And that gives you a sense of contentment. Motherhood is intensely feminine, something which can biologically be supported only by women (fatherhood is also feminine, but less intensely). But due to the rampaging masculinity, modern mothers think that working in office is success rather than spending time with their children. Is motherhood - bringing up a child with good values and preparing the next generation - not success? Men have anyway lost their minds in masculinity. And now women too are defeating the feminine.

Spiritual seeking is the culmination of the feminine. The deepest yearning, which is way beyond the realm of the survival. All seekers are intensely feminine. As Meera put it, there are no other men in existence apart from Krishna, the final reality. Only when we become extremely feminine in seeking this reality can we surrender ourselves to it and annihilate the self-preserving masculine individuality. Therefore, may all of us invoke the feminine in us.