20. Free Fall

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This article may further help in sharpening the sword! Read slowly and very carefully. And you may have to read this several times. I have been drinking this brand since several years and still I get the same kick.

Discussion 1

How do you know that you exist?

“Because I can see, hear, touch etc”

Suppose you are (I mean your body) in empty space in total darkness and vacuum. You have been given anesthesia to all the limbs of the body including facial muscles. Now, how do you know that you exist?

“I think, therefore I know I am”

Suppose you are a new born baby who doesn’t know a single word of any language. So, you possibly cannot form any words as thoughts. Now, how do you know that you exist?

“I may not know any language, but I may remember some sound and pictures. So, mind is making some thoughts as sounds and pictures”

Suppose you were born deaf and blind. And you are in the above situation. Now, how do you know that you exist?

“Mind remembers the feel of touch. So mind is thinking about the feel of touch”

Suppose all your limbs were numb from the moment your body was formed, due to some disorder. And you are in the above situation. Now, how do you know that you exist?

“Because I can still feel something”

Feel what? All limbs are numb including face. No sense organ is having any input. Then what is it that you feel?

“I know that I am”

Bingo, you actually know that you are. Not because you see, hear, touch or think. But because you simply are. You are Self-luminous. ‘I think, therefore I am’ is actually ‘I Am, therefore I think’. You do not require anything to tell you that you exist. You know that you exist. ‘I Am’ is a feeling – without words and languages.

‘I Am’ is an absolute feeling that does not require ANY external proof. ‘I Am’ is Self evident Awareness.

 ‘I Am’ is the only true experience.

Discussion 2

‘I Am’ is the only true experience? What about sensual experiences then? Are they not true?

You must be seeing an object in front of you, say a book. How do you see it?

“Light falls on the book. Then book absorbs some part of the light and reflects the rest. That light enters my eyes. The image gets inverted because of the lens and falls on a screen (macula). Light signature is converted into electrical signals and optic nerves carry the signal to the brain center. The brain center interprets the signal and converts back into image. And I see the image”

Ok, great. You are very scientific. But didn’t you notice? You are again back at square one. The last statement that you made put you back to where you started. You said brain center converts the signal back into image. And finally you said ‘I see the image’. Well, that was my question! How is it that you see the image?

“The brain center interprets the signal and I see”

The signal is interpreted back to image. Ok, I understood that. But finally, we are again left with two entities – ‘I’ and the image of the book. What happens between ‘I’ and the image? What is connecting you and the image? You are again saying ‘I see the image’. Well, the initial question itself was ‘How do we see?’. And after all the scientific jargon you finally say ‘And I see the image’! What man! Has your science explained anything?!

No matter how much you struggle to explain, you cannot bridge that gap between ‘I’ and the image. (this is well accepted in neuroscience and is called the 'Explanatory Gap') Think! You have named the connection as ‘seeing’, alright. You went through so much of scientific explanation, finally only to say ‘I see the image’! Ok, I accept the name ‘seeing’. Name is just a name! Naming did not explain anything. I will name it as ‘keeing’. So does it mean I explained it? The question remains unanswered. The same argument holds good for all sense experiences – hearing, tasting, smelling and touching. Science has only helped us to prove our helplessness. That itself is a great help. Proving with certainty that we do not know is a tough task and science has greatly helped us to reach that point. So the question remains:

How is it that you are seeing the image? What is meant by ‘seeing’?

(Later I came to know that this is called the Hard Problem of Consciousness in Western philosophy today. The Hard problem is "Why is brain-function associated with experience? Why are we not zombies?")

Discussion 3

Suppose you are dreaming. In your dream world, suppose you see a book. You see the book as you see it while you are awake. No difference. And while you are in the dream if I ask you ‘How do you see?’ it will lead to the same discussion as given above. The question will remain unanswered.

But now that we are awake (?), we can analyze dream state. And analyzing the dream state will give some answers. Is that dream book actually different from you? Didn’t you yourself project the book and then say ‘I see the book’? So eventually what is happening? You are yourself projecting it out from you, and then you are taking it back into you. The image of the book is coming out from you and going back into you. You do this for several objects throughout the dream. And you call this as ‘seeing’. Same argument holds good for all sense experiences of the dream.

Can seeing in the dream and seeing in the awake state have different mechanisms? Both have to eventually be from the same center – ‘I’. I am a common factor in both states of ‘seeing’. Then the ‘seeing’ of awake state must also follow the same mechanism as that of the dream state.

This implies only one thing:

Seeing the book = I am aware of my own self, as the book

Bewildering! But this is plain logic. This is at least an answer to ‘What is meant by seeing?’. Conclusion 1 is also in tune with this - I am aware of myself without any external aid. So, sense experiences are me being aware of myself as the sense objects. I project out objects and take them back into me with the pretence of sense experiences, just as in the dream. This is the only way we can explain sense experience. Else, as seen before, the gap between ‘I’ and the sense object cannot be bridged.

“So, do you mean that I myself create the world that I see? Impossible. The universe is so vast.”

I not only mean that you create the world, I also mean that you are the entire world. That is why you are capable of being aware of it. When you are inside a dream, you would say that the dream world is very big. You very strongly believe that you are just one tiny body. Within the dream, if someone said ‘Moon does not exist, it exists only if you see it’ will you believe? Does moon always exist in your dream? Does the moon exist in your dream until you look up at the skies? Why moon? Ask this question for all the objects in the dream. Did the wall behind you in the dream exist before you turned and looked at it? What is actually happening? Are you not simultaneously creating them and perceiving them? Are they not coming out from your own Self and being taken back into your own Self? Weren’t you the entire dream?

(Quantum Physics in 1920s pointed at similar conclusions. Although many stubborn physicists are trying to hide it behind mathematical jargon, many prominent physicists did recognize its philosophical implications. See "The Tao of Physics" by Fritjof Capra and "The Dancing Wu Li Masters" by Gary Zukav. The latter was written by a non-scientific writer who consulted many top physicists and summarized the findings of modern physics. It is a good read for non-scientific public)

How big is the dream world? It is only as big as you explore it. Isn’t it? You travel to space in the dream, and say the universe is so big. But did that space exist until you went there in the dream? You create the path and you walk over it! And thus, it is endless. Are you not playing with yourself in the dream? Is this nothing but a game?

The whole dream is you. And only whatever you experience exists. Or rather, you exist as what you experience. You exist as the moon. You exist as the wall. And whatever you perceive, one by one. The transaction between you and the objects were just for fun – ‘seeing’, ‘hearing’ etc – which cannot be explained at all, no matter how much you struggle. Other things that you do not perceive at a given moment do not exist, or rather they exist in their unmanifest seed form within you.

Now the big guns – Jnana Yoga says dream and wakeful states are not different. Exactly the same is happening in the wakeful state as well! How can you prove otherwise? Think of the dream state thoroughly. Will you accept it while you are in the dream? But isn’t that the truth?

Secondly, we concluded that ‘I Am’ is awareness that is aware of itself. What a wonder! A point (or whatever it is) aware of itself? Awareness itself is a big marvel. What is this awareness? And instead of wondering at that we go on researching everything else. All that ‘everything’ is just projections from my own Self. So, know the Self and the whole dream is known in a flash. Realize the dreamer and the whole dream is realized – no need of exploring objects one by one, they are endless projections from your own Self. And how to realize the dreamer? Silly! I am the one who is dreaming! I have to just wonder and enquire about me - 'I'!

Note - The article is only meant to plant a seed. If you try to seriously think, the discussion will go on very deep into you. Reading Ramana Maharshi will greatly help to strengthen this enquiry. His answers, especially related to dream state, will guide the enquiry in the right direction and strike the right chords.