53. Longing - The Only Responsibility of a Jijnasu

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In our worldly affairs, when we need to achieve a goal, 1) we need to have sufficient longing for it, 2) subsequently we should spend sufficient effort and time for getting there, and 3) we need the participation and cooperation of many individuals and situations around us.

But let us not be over-intelligent to drag this scheme into adhyatma! In this realm, we must just yearn. The only responsibility that a seeker has is to develop the longing. That is it. Let us not pretend as if we are responsible for searching the right technique or the right Guru. Let us not run around trying to 'find' who is genuine, trying to evaluate which organization is good, which technique is the best. We have not taken a contract to judge who is genuine, who is not.

Similarly let us not pretend as if the world is responsible for giving us a suitable Guru, and as if something is flawed in the system for not giving us a Guru. Poor fellow! I am not progressing because the world is filled with imposters. Else, by now I would have been Vishnu's 11th avatara!

Let us stop this amusing talk! Guru is not 'found' as in finding a bridegroom. If I find a Guru in this way, and if I - with my petty intellect - am responsible for it, doesn't the possibilities of divorce also come with it? Guru is encountered. We are found by them... when we are eligible. Our responsibility is only to become eligible. That is all. If they are not finding us, that does not mean system is flawed and they are accountable for it; it only means that we have not made ourselves eligible yet.

And for that... we must just long! That is our only responsibility. Let us feel the pain of not knowing what we are or why we are. Let us weep; turn our eyes red. We are trying to know the meaning of our existence. Let us recognize the gravity of this enquiry. Adhyatma is not entertainment. It is not some dvaita v/s advaita action scene to satisfy our childish intellect. It is hardcore search. The greatest longing a being can ever have. Fulfill this responsibility wholeheartedly, and our job is done. Guru will appear, techniques will appear, help will appear... and even if none of them appear the End will surely appear (for which all the formers ones are only pretexts). If we long enough, everything will automatically fall into place. When a piece of creation longs to know the meaning of its existence, existence will necessarily respond. Instead of doing that, let us not spend our naive logic in pretending to be responsible for 'planning' our spiritual journey, or pretending that world is not cooperative enough for us to tread the path. If we do not long, we will only remain a dwarf. No matter how much we plan.

But what if I do not have sufficient longing? Well, then I should engage in planning and pretending that I am responsible. I should start temporarily satisfying myself with some intellectual entertainment, practice of some technique, participate in some 'spiritual' activity, read some books. All this will elevate us in some way, but never give us contentment. These will anyway increase our frustration in due course, which will eventually lead to intensified longing (This is where I began the blog - The Chronicles of Despair). This is a process of ripening. It must ripen one day.